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moved to this apartment in February and have barely had any guests so far all because of 2020 reasons. Today, it’s good to have a friend stop by for a minute. I get to see a face that’s long familiar to me but kept secret from you, The Internet. 

Kurumi arrived balancing a collection of bags in a long, black dress with a very glamorous leopard print face mask. I, myself in true ragamuffin fashion, am in a top knot and crop top for comparison. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kurumi in pants, let alone sweatpants or leggings. I’m trying to conjure the image and my brain short circuits. She is on the extreme end of high femme on the gender presentation spectrum and she never falls short of demonstrating that with the highest of production value. I welcome her in and warn her about my cat who is…assertively friendly.

The self-proclaimed “cat whisperer” is not phased.

I spent a lot of time trying to trace back where I had met her but for the life of me I cannot remember. Only that I’ve known her since before she was Kurumi. We spent a lot of time at the same parties selecting from cheese plates while quietly giggling at the guys who attempted to hit on us. Years later, she confessed to me that she had been previously familiar with my career before she started her own journey into the biz. I mean, who could ask for a better stalker?

So how is this bombshell spending quarantine? Very caffeinated and very naked. The percentage of time spent clothed during lockdown has gone drastically down for all of us. The loose schedule has opened her up to indulge in a few activities perfect for staying home, namely tending to her vegetable garden powered by Red Bull. “I shoveled almost 2.5 tons of soil for my raised bed gardens…I was going to bring you some tomatoes, but the squirrels got to them!” Its that approachable realness and lack of pretension that makes Kurumi fun. When you see photos of her in sleek pencil skirts and cocktail dresses, you don’t envision her to be the girl knocking back a few hundred mg’s of caffeine, covered in dirt, defending her hard won produce from local furry scavengers, but she has no reservations about this being her bliss.

“Most people are interesting, I think. You just have to get them talking. I’ve yet to meet someone who fully opened up who I find boring.” Breaking down that wall is no easy task when you’re dealing with men, but one that Kurumi excels in. “I just like people! I like meeting people I wouldn’t otherwise meet…You hear so many crazy stories you wouldn’t get to hear.” Clients tend to nott give themselves enough credit for being compelling to us. What she loves is finding people’s quirks and loving them for what they think makes them weird. One of those quirks she finds in common with a lot of her suitors is anime. “Berserk, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Ergo Proxy, Paranoia Agent, Steins;Gate, Cowboy Bebop…Its the niche stuff that people connect with!” 

But with loving anime also comes those guys who want to reduce you into their personal hentai fantasy. Women of color, whether they are in the industry or not, will always have to deal with men trying to exoticize and stereotype them. You’ll have to deal with that no matter what, so if you choose to commodify it, it is yours to sell. More power to you! But that is not something Kurumi is comfortable with. “I’ve always been open about not seeing guys who fetishize me. There’s nothing wrong with finding Japanese girls attractive, but if you have expectations on what an asian girl is going to be like or if your desire for them is based off of how submissive they could possibly be, then I’m just not your girl.”

So how do you make sure you’re taking the right approach with this one? The key to her heart lies is in dad jokes. So much so that it is a requirement for her screening process. “You get a feel for their personality, you can tell [by how they react to the question] they’re really sincere people.” Some potentials will even do diligent research before submitting their best one liner. “They’re really sweet! It gives you a lot of insight.” 

So that’s your homework, boys. Get those dad jokes ready and you’ll go far with Miss Gray.

I’m a lucky girl. I get to surround myself with some of the brightest, most sparkling women this industry has to offer. I’m proud to call many of them my close friends. All I want to do is sing their praises from every rooftop for how much they continuously inspire and motivate me. This section of my blog is the closest version of me doing that without having to risk scaling any buildings.

Check out PRO/files to see what I’m talking about.

Better yet: Book us together soon and live it out!